Dad
Dad had taken his girlfriend out to the Adelphi in Liverpool for the evening. They had a few drinks and his girlfriend went to bed.
Dad stayed up, blagged his way into a party downstairs and pulled a really nice looking girl. They got another room.
After no sleep, at 6am he left the room and went to the nearest newsagents and bought a newspaper.
He went back to the room he'd booked with his girlfriend, opened the door and closed it noisily, opened the curtains and said, "morning honey!".
When she asked what he was doing, he said he'd been up for ages, been out and bought a paper and was getting bored waiting for her to wake up. She never found out.
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